Our first Christmas after losing both parents this year. It’s going to be a difficult one for sure. Thanksgiving was hard enough. Our holidays revolved around my mom and what would make her happy. She sacrificed so much in her life to raise us and keep a roof over our heads. She was the center of our world. I convinced myself it would get easier in time, but to be honest, each day it feels harder. I’ve gone to pick up the phone to call her a few times now. Then I realize what I’m doing and it’s like losing her all over again. I miss her. And I have lived in Texas since November 2006. I can’t imagine what my family members that lived closer are feeling. They had more time with her, more memories, more constants. If you’re reading this, please keep our family in your thoughts and prayers. We sure could use some extra strength this holiday season. 💔 The amount of pain and heartache we are feeling shows just how much of an impact she had on us.
Update: So to make Christmas Eve even harder, the fog was bad and Aggie & Tammy couldn’t be there. It was a great time with the family that could make it, but it didn’t feel like Christmas. Especially not the tradition we shared with my mom every Christmas Eve.
We did sing happy birthday to Phoebe. Angel had her favorite chantilly cake, which was also mom’s favorite. ❤️
We dropped Phoebe off to her dad before heading to Aggie’s. The fog was really bad after we dropped Phoebe off. We spent the whole Christmas Day cooking and cleaning up while cooking, just to have family come by for about an hour… eat, open their gifts, and then leave for the next house. Again, didn’t feel like Christmas. I’m not sure I’ll make the trip in next year. It’s just not the same without mom there and everyone is separated or spending time with other families. I hate that we couldn’t make it work to honor my mom’s tradition this year.
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